Siblings teach us how to get along with others. When we’re out of line, we can count on them to bring it home. Good friends will do the same.
My sister, Kelly, painted a picture of one of my less-than-stellar moments for me & it was just, well…ugly. She told me about a friend she had in grade school who used to come to our house to play. She said, “Kim, you were so mean to her.”
“I was?” I did recall that I was in that surly tween phase & that this particular friend seemed to be a target for some tween-style ridicule, but I didn’t have a recollection of just how bad it was. Kelly said she thought she remembered me calling her a name that I’m not gonna repeat here, because I’m already cringing just writing this. Suffice it to say that I feel embarrassed just thinking of the possibility. And, no, it wasn’t “biatch” – that would’ve been better, methinks.
We humans are all quite adept at dealing with moments such as this by:
1) Denying – “I would never have done that.”
2) Justifying – “She probably dissed me first.”
3) Shirking – “So what? I didn’t like her.”
4) Self-loathing – “I can’t believe I did that. I’m obviously not a good person.”
I chose, instead, to look up Kelly’s old friend (whom she had lost contact with years ago) on social media. I sent her a note apologizing for my behavior all those years ago & much love to replace it today. I may not hear from her & she may not feel any sense of forgiveness, but that’s not the point. We all behave in ways that do not serve or represent our highest, most excellent selves from time to time. It creates “weight” within us that can prevent us from feeling the lightness of joy. We’re often not aware that the weight is even there. I can assure you that you’ll be aware of it when you release it, though!
As soon as I sent the note, I felt freedom that resulted in a “Snoopy dance”. You know the one. Since I don’t have permission to use Schulz’s artwork here, I asked Kelly to do a quickie sketch for me. Our childhood dog, Scruffy, has long been one of her characters & he illustrates my feelings well!
Here’s how to do it:
1) Forgive yourself. Your negative behavior towards someone else is reflective of some kind of pain or discomfort living within you. We all channel the energy we’ve received into something or someone else. Until we learn to consciously handle negative energy, so we don’t store it inside of us as pain, we’ll seek to release it painfully.
2) Apologize & ask forgiveness from the other person. This may not be possible in a live 1-to-1 (as in the case that you can’t locate them or they’re deceased). The key here is to speak to their spirit, anyway, & can be done anywhere at any time. The sincere vibration of love ripples through time & space &, even if not on a conscious level, it will be felt in spirit & a burden lifted.
3) Let go. This is where many people fail to close the gap. Ruminating indefinitely on your misdeeds won’t make you more enlightened, forgiven, or a better person. It sucks your joy into a black hole & you will feel the loss of connection to your highest self. Letting go is an act of self-love; & the prerequisite for the “Snoopy dance” (or, in my case, the Scruffy Dance).
Travel lightly on the inside. Feel more freedom, more joy. Do better work. Play well with others. Oh Yeah!
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